If I were a dessert, I would be big enough to share.
If I were an alcoholic beverage, I would be champagne.
If I were a type of music, I would be Rasputina or Red Priest.
If I were a color, I would be orange-fuscia swirl.
If I were a fruit, I would be a ripe, juicy peach.
If I were an animal, I would be a Chihuahua.
If I were a story, I would be written by Angela Carter.
If I were a car, I would be a Karmann Ghia.
If I were a poem, I would be The Heavy Bear Who Goes With Me by Delmore Schwartz.
If I were a bird, I would be a Grackle.**
If I were a city, I would be Prague.
If I were an article of clothing, I would be flip flops.
If I were the weather, I would be a summer storm.
If I were a plant, I would be a passion flower.
If I were a planet, I would be Saturn.
If I were a tree, I would be a flowering cherry.
If I were a fabric, I would be cashmere.
If I were a work of art, I would be a Redon.
If I were a book, I would be Precious Bane by Mary Webb.
If I were an emotion, I would be worry.
If I were an insect, I would be the queen bee.
If I were a song, I would be Surrounded by Chantal Kreviazuk.
If I were a fictional character, I would be Prue Sarn.
If I were a season, I would be autumn.
If I were an instrument, I would be an accordion.
If I were lingerie, I would be cabaret stripe thigh high stockings, clinging to my garters.
If I were a movie, I would be Harold & Maude.
If I were a musical, I would be Gigi.
If I were a criminal act, I would be the long con.
**THE GRACKLE
Ogden Nash
p.1942
====================
The grackle's voice is less than mellow,
His heart is black, his eye is yellow,
He bullies more attractive birds
With hoodlum deeds and vulgar words,
And should a human interfere,
Attacks that human in the rear.
I cannot help but deem the grackle
An ornithological debacle. 
3 comments:
All credit for this cleverness goes to Tart at the BPAL forum. You are a genius. --- quinnbee
I love this -- can't wait to sit down and give it a try, although mine won't be nearly as clever and amusing as yours. Never read the grackle poem before, but now I adore it! Thanks, again, for broadening my horizons!
I have to change my song choice. Because, as much as I love "Surrounded", it just more the Quinn who was than the Quinn who is today.
So I'm updating to Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue". Which is actually I song I never really liked at all until recently.
Like the "real Quinn", it is tentative and quiet, then turns into a loud braggart, with big, blowsy, show-us-your-tits moments, but it always retains a certain optimism.
And that's really me; a little class, a little trash, with a touch of sentimentality thrown in for good measure.
And it's my blog, so I can do what I want. : P
If you haven't done your list yet, I'd still love to see it!
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