Did I ever mention that I believe Che and Yma are psychic? For one thing, they always seem to know when I still have a biscuit in my pocket. And they can sense when Scott is home from work even before he gets to the door! True!!
I think they have psychically nudged me to find this ebay item, as they would like to have their own careers in fortune telling. At $25 a reading.
Which they can do many, many times per day.
Expert Psychic Reading Stella The Dog Psychic Chihuahua
Visionary Advice From Amazing Top Dog Psychic
Item number: 9514750105
Seller: psychicchihuahua ( 0 )
Member since Jan-22-06 in United States
Current bid: US $25.99
Time left: 6 days 13 hours
7-day listing
Ends May-06-06 12:00:00 PDT
Item location: norwalk, CT United States
Ships to: Worldwide
Summary
It's well known that animals can sense our emotions, thoughts and feelings. There are numerous, proven instances of animals sensing events far in advance of their occurrence. STELLA THE PSYCHIC CHIHUAHUA is one such creature with exactly that ability! ; It was as a Puppy that STELLA first showed the Mysterious Gift of Prophecy and Divination, when STELLA opened and Read the Tarot. When asked questions, STELLA used the Cards to Give A Reading. Amazingly, that first reading soon proved Absolutely Accurate in Every Respect! ; STELLA has shown, Time and Time again, that the Psychic Ability transcends race, creed, culture and species. STELLA delves right to the core of the all of our most Important questions! Relationship issues? Career worries? Money problems? Make use of the astonishing abilities of STELLA, THE PSYCHIC CHIHUAHUA to get the answers You Need! ; Now, for the first time on eBay, you may bid on a very special reading by Stella.; As the winning bidder, you will be entitled to send an e-mail for Stella with five questions about love, money, career, family, your pets, or whatever are your most pressing issues.; Stella will respond with a reading answering your questions via e-mail within 24 hours.; We guarantee that you will find the experience most fulfilling and exciting.; Best of luck in bidding!
I swear, some days this blog just writes itself. Good luck bidding, and please note that the above paragraph --- including the extraneous semi-colons --- is the sole property of Stella The Dog Psychic Chihuahua. If you abuse her rights, SHE WILL KNOW.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
The Strange Incident of the Bee in the Night
A terrible thing happened the other night, and it happened because I was trying to put something over on my husband.
I was sneaking to bed --- sneaking, because I had stayed up past 0430. Scott knows I get cranky when I stay up that late, so he really gives me crap when I do.
So, I snuck out of the bathroom, shutting off the light as I went. My plan was to get undressed in the spare room, so I wouldn't wake my husband. Only, somehow, I got confused where the door was and walked straight into the WALL.
With my FACE.
To illustrate this, stand up and take one good-sized, purposeful step in any direction. Notice how much speed you've picked up without even trying. Now imagine the unstoppable force that is your face coming to a sudden and unexpected stop by connecting with the immoveable object that is your house.
NOW you're getting the picture.
I staggered backwards, literally seeing stars. And completely confused, of course, as to what had happened --- expecting a door, I find a wall. I managed to get the bathroom light on and grabbed a handtowel to staunch the bleeding; I was conscious enough to select a red one.
Batting a couple of those annoying cartoon birds out of the way, I stumbled to the bedroom to wake Scott, being a complete coward and too scared to assess the damage on my own.
"'Ott. 'OTT!!" I choked through my mouthful of towel and blood. "'Ott, 'ake uh."
"Wha..." my beloved murmured from the land of Nod.
"'Ake uh, I ur eye ow, OW!" ::gurgle::
"What did you do now?!"
QUINN ::more gurgling::
SCOTT ::sympathetic wincing, followed by a leap into action::
When all was said and done, it ended up that the force of the blow caused me to bite THROUGH MY OWN LIP!! Scott gave me an icepack, asked me if I wanted to go to the emergency room (which didn't sound like a great idea; showing up at 0500 with a split lip, who's gonna believe I did it myself??), then put me to bed.
I'm pretty sure the inside cut could have used some stitches, but who the hell wants to get stitches inside their mouth?? Not me!!! I'm mainly feeling it in my pride, and my lip is ENORMOUS, but it looks like it's already starting to heal.
I also spent the rest of the night dreaming that I had knocked all my teeth out. So much for my secret life of deception, huh?
I was sneaking to bed --- sneaking, because I had stayed up past 0430. Scott knows I get cranky when I stay up that late, so he really gives me crap when I do.
So, I snuck out of the bathroom, shutting off the light as I went. My plan was to get undressed in the spare room, so I wouldn't wake my husband. Only, somehow, I got confused where the door was and walked straight into the WALL.
With my FACE.
To illustrate this, stand up and take one good-sized, purposeful step in any direction. Notice how much speed you've picked up without even trying. Now imagine the unstoppable force that is your face coming to a sudden and unexpected stop by connecting with the immoveable object that is your house.
NOW you're getting the picture.
I staggered backwards, literally seeing stars. And completely confused, of course, as to what had happened --- expecting a door, I find a wall. I managed to get the bathroom light on and grabbed a handtowel to staunch the bleeding; I was conscious enough to select a red one.
Batting a couple of those annoying cartoon birds out of the way, I stumbled to the bedroom to wake Scott, being a complete coward and too scared to assess the damage on my own.
"'Ott. 'OTT!!" I choked through my mouthful of towel and blood. "'Ott, 'ake uh."
"Wha..." my beloved murmured from the land of Nod.
"'Ake uh, I ur eye ow, OW!" ::gurgle::
"What did you do now?!"
QUINN ::more gurgling::
SCOTT ::sympathetic wincing, followed by a leap into action::
When all was said and done, it ended up that the force of the blow caused me to bite THROUGH MY OWN LIP!! Scott gave me an icepack, asked me if I wanted to go to the emergency room (which didn't sound like a great idea; showing up at 0500 with a split lip, who's gonna believe I did it myself??), then put me to bed.
I'm pretty sure the inside cut could have used some stitches, but who the hell wants to get stitches inside their mouth?? Not me!!! I'm mainly feeling it in my pride, and my lip is ENORMOUS, but it looks like it's already starting to heal.
I also spent the rest of the night dreaming that I had knocked all my teeth out. So much for my secret life of deception, huh?
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