The North and The South

Scott and I went to a new restaurant the other night, only to have this random guy come over to our table and start talking to us. Turns out it was a manager, doing a table-side customer satisfaction survey. He was happy to discover we are (temporarily) transplanted northerners, as he himself was from New Jersey.

Unfortunately, he had in the course of his seven years in Georgia picked up the southern habit of standing around smiling at people. Not really saying anything, just nodding and smiling.

Which for northerners is pure torture. Do I keep looking at you? Am I supposed to say something now? Would it be impolite for me to finish my dinner, or just get up and walk away from you? How long are you going to keep standing there??? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST BACK OFF, MAN!!

I started a temp job a few weeks ago, and everyone is very nice, but they're so damned friendly, I don't know what to make of it. Back home, people just aren't that nice; they don't look you in the eye, and they sure as hell don't say hello to every person they see. Back home, if someone is talking to you on the street, they are either schizophrenic or they have one of those headphones on for their mobile.

Back home, I make friends by being sarcastic and funny; I know if I make a joke about W, the crowd will be putty in my hands. Down here, even the college kids have W stickers on their SUV's. Hippies are about as rare as hen's teeth, and the few goths I've seen look like they really are just doing it to piss off their parents.

There's just nowhere for loudmouth liberal bohos like me and Scott to fit in. I know they have to be around somewhere, but I can't see them through the crowds of gently smiling and nodding southerns in my way.